Behind the Black Door 3 – Failure and Success

Despite the hundreds of success stories I have heard through my time at Healing Properties and in the rooms of AA, I have heard thousands of fateful, depressing stories of failure. These failures, although not as publicized or discussed, have instilled in me more than the successes ever could. These failure stories continue to scare me, even when things are good in my life. The people that come and go, the people that live and die, the people that are continuously fighting for their lives on a daily basis in pursuit of the utter sense of bliss that drugs and alcohol once brought them truly scares me.

Although motivating, these stories are a double edged sword in that on one hand they do provide a barometer with which to measure my success but on the other, they at times, torment my pursuit of god, AA, and a sober way of life by showing me how easy it is to fail. Consistently, when things get bad, when my life seems unmanageable, when I feel sad, overworked, and angry I start to remember these stories and the consistent themes that pervade them; Inconsistency in the everyday habits that keep people sober. I begin to think, am I doing something wrong? Is this going to lead me to a drink or a drug? Can’t I just “trudge the road of happy destiny”?

And then I remember…

Around me I have people that care about me, I have friends, I have health, I have integrity. I am a man of honesty. As longs as I continue to pursue god, the AA way of life, clean my side of the street, and help others all will be well. For that I am grateful.

~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties