Behind the Black Door 6 – Honesty after Addiction
Honesty is something that I never understood in my active addiction. I think it all boiled down to the fact that I had no idea what it meant to be honest, I had never been honest in my life. I lied, cheated, and stole to get what I needed with no regard for anybody else. I think that is why I spent so long in active addiction before coming for to treatment for drugs and alcohol. At the time, I was one of those people that were constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself, let alone other people. I was incapable of differentiating the true from the false because in truth I was delusional. I lived in a fantasy world where I was hurting nobody but myself, where people enjoyed spending time with me, and I had something to offer society and the world.
In reality, I was delusional. I was a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict that could not put together more than 15 minutes sober. Popping pulls, drinking beers, shooting dope, or blowing coke, it didnt matter…I couldnt stop. It took a bottom for me to realize what was going on and I am forever grateful for that breif momemt of clarity. without it, I dont think I would ever have ended up at Healing properties Halfway House or Delray Beach at all.
Today, at least I know what I want to be instead of identifying how I do not want to be. I want to be honest, caring, compassionate, faithful, and most of all selfless. God has taken me this far, I think he can handle a character defect or two…
For that I am grateful.
~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties