Man Shot After Eating Last Hot Pocket

Hard to say what’s more embarrassing – getting shot over the last Hot Pocket, or doing the shooting yourself. After all, both come with a good amount of red-faced baggage. And that’s not including where the shooter got shot, which makes it all even more embarrassing.

So what to do? Do you shame the man who claimed the last Hot Pocket as his own or do you hold out for the one who swiped the last Hot Pocket and then suffered the consequences? Were those consequences embarrassment enough?

Here’s how it breaks down:

Clifton Williams, 64, found his roommate had eaten the last Hot Pocket, so he shot him in the butt. That’s right, in the butt, Which didn’t cause any life-threatening injuries but did amply the embarrassing aspect of it all.

Even the judge was on the side of the shooter, reportedly charging him with assault and banning him from contacting the victim. He was being held on $7,500 bond. Basically, letting the shooter go free with a slap on the wrist. While we agree over the comical elements in the case, the guy did actually shoot someone. And that’s gotta be worth at last a felony.

Must the victim also suffer low-balling the crime?
As far as we can see, the victim will now be prevented from taking a seat for however many days or weeks while his ass heals, and everytme he does he’ll be reminded of being shot in the rump.by some made hot pocketeer.

All because he was hungry enough to steal the hot pocket to begin with.

High or Drunk?

Now we at Healing Properties can only hope he was either high or drunk when the incident occurred. After all, no one wants to consider shooting someone over the last hot pocket while they were sober. So, for Clayton’s sake, let’s hope he was drunk and/or high. The judge must have seen some mitigating circumstances anyway; otherwise why grant release him ROR on a firearm charge? Are last Hot Pocket shootings a thing in Kentucky or something?

We don’t know. We’re simply following CNN’s lead. And everyone else who reported on this sordid story. We only hope it doesn’t mark a sea change in frozen food, otherwise, there are bound to be a lot more injuries, butt-shot and otherwise.